I grew up in a very tiny village called Caistorville. In Caistorville, as a youth, if you wanted a job, there were really only three available.

1) You could work at a farm, helping in their fields or barn.

2) You could work at the feed mill, shoving and bagging wheat, feed and lots of other stuff.

3) You could work at the gas station pumping gas and stocking shelves.

For the record I did all three.

I recall many hours spent standing near the front door of the gas station waiting for someone to roll through our sleepy little village to get some gas and listening to the owner, Roger talk religion, politics, social issues, sports and weather with all the locals and occasionally lost soul.

He and one local farmer one time were having a very animated discussion over local politics and I remember as the voices started to raise, I think Roger was looking for a bit of solidarity from this young employee… Looking over the shoulder of the farm he shouts at me “John, what do you think about all this? What do you have to say?”

I looked at him for a moment searching my mind for some sort of insight to their conversation and I found I had none. I shrugged. He made some noise like a snort and continued on with the arguement.

A few minutes later as the farmer turned to leave, he stopped and looked at me and said something I always remember.

“Boy, you’ll always learn more from listening than talking.”

That advice has guided me well through the years.

I remember being in a client meeting where we were suppose to be working with the client to develop some ideas for a new package. This client in particular liked to take advantage of the fact that he was the client and liked to run the show. I think there were 10-12 of us there, my creative director and numerous colleagues all present… And this client spots me sitting at the other end of the table he stops and in a louder than necessary voice says, “So John, you haven’t said a word – what do you have to say?” I considered my words carefully and said, “I’m not sure (client name removed to protect him), but when I think of something valuable to add to the conversation, you can bet I will say so…”

That didn’t go over very well.

I think my creative director respected my approach but pushed me to be more vocal in these meetings. But as I told him, if I’m sitting in a room with people like him who have far more experience than I, and I have nothing at that moment to offer – why should I open my mouth to speak? I assured him there seemed to be enough people doing that already. I was going to learn a lot more by listening than talking…

I’m taking a long time to get to my point which is – as charities, or as people – do we spend more time listening or talking?

Do you listen more to your donors or do you talk more to your donors (or clients or customers)? Do you ask them what they think or do you always tell them what you think?

We all know we feel more important when we are asked for our opinion. It’s a validation that we have something to offer. Ask your donors what they think… Learn from them.

This post also serves reminder to me as a blogger or whatever the heck I am. I was reminded this past weekend, don’t blog if you don’t have anything to say. Don’t blog for the sake of blogging. (But I have a schedule! People expect it!) Don’t talk for the sake of talking.

Add to the conversation when you have something of value to contribute.(Thanks Phil!)

That’s sound advice that we all can learn from.